A couple months ago Camille and I partook in some shenanigans. I had some extra dinosaurs and didn’t want to keep taking them with me everywhere, so we decided to donate them to the world.

For each dinosaur we created a card, a story about who s/he was and what kind of situation they were in. These ranged from absurd (”hey man, I’m JP. I love poppin’ and lockin and break dancing and hip hop. I mean, seriously, just turn on some music and I go nuts. I’m great to bring to parties. All the ladies dig me.” … “hey! look at me! hey ! hi! pay attention to me! I have add and am in desperate need of some ATTENTION. Please take me and shower me with love, kindness and attention!” … “my mama used to love me, but when I broke her favorite flatscreen television she kicked me out of the house and i haven’t watched TV in months! please take me to your house! i miss the hills”)

…to sympathetic (”meteors killed my family. i am sad. please give me a new home.” … “i have a rare disease, three fingeritis, and I have been in and out of hospitals for years. I’m sick of it. I just want a peaceful home Will you take me?” … “my name is willis. both my parents died in the tar pits. i like leafy greens and peanut butter. i hope you like long walks cause i need to be walked often. i won’t bite!”)…

Then one night we took them all out and set them up, eager to let them out into the world and hoping they would find loving owners (who would be proactive enough to take pictures and write us e-mails on how the dinos were doing in their new homes).

Here are the lucky few dinosaurs who were adopted into loving homes:

This here is Charles! It is particularly lucky that he was found because he was in bad shape when we left him…

I’m charles, and I’m an alcoholic dinosaur. I have finally come to terms with my problem and am looking for a fresh start at a new home. Please help me! i’ll behave, i promise. I won’t binge at all.

This is Mark!

oh hi. my name is mark. I am a dinosaur and I am lost. You look very nice. Could I maybe come live with you? I’m pretty quiet, I eat a lot of vegetables but i hate clowns. Please take me home!

That’s not all! Mark even wrote us a letter from his new home!

Just wanted to let you know that I found a home today!
Some really big dude adopted me and brought me to his office. I love it here. Everything is green, just like me. And I have already made a lot of friends.
There’s an alligator, a fish, a frog and a bear. And so far, they all seem very nice and have made me feel very welcome.

Gotta go now. Time for me to explore more of my new home.

Mark (the dino)

We’ll never forget you!

It’s J.P.! The lovable dino that loves poppin’ and lockin’ and bustin’ moves! He found a home!

This big guy was one of my favorites, and it was hard to let him go. We left him by the Inverted Fountain at South Campus and hoped for the best. I will let the note speak for itself.

Dear Whomever,

Just wanted to let you know what happened to the dino.

I teach writing at UCLA. I had arranged for 33 4th grade students to come to campus today to interview my students about writing.

Last week, one of the 4th graders, a high-functioning autistic boy, flipped out, screaming he couldn’t, wouldn’t, absolutely no way to go to UCLA! When the 4th graders’ teacher told me Max wasn’t coming, I had to reassign my student who was going to interview him to join another 4th grader. Yesterday I found out that Max had changed his mind. He was coming to campus, but didn’t want to interview anyone, just wanted to go on the tour part of the visit.

On the way to campus I realized something horrible. My students had decided that they would each get a little gift to give to the 4th graders. Max, having no partner, would get no gift. I felt terrible. I had no time to run to the student store to get something. I was trying to remember if there wa anything in my office I could give him. As I walked past the inverted fountain to my office in the Humanities building, still fretting about what to do, I saw something…

…a little dinosaur. And Max had his gift.

When all the other kids walked out of their interviews holding their stuffed bears, baseball caps, journals, t-shirts (and two 4th graders received footballs signed by the UCLA football team!), I handed Max his gift.

Thank you for brightening the day of a young boy who struggles so hard to get through his life.